Colic is a Myth
Colic, like global warming, is a myth. Everyone fears it for whatever reason, and I'm just here like, um, if there was some mystery illness that would stop my horse from crapping all over the place, AND would do the stomach jabbing work of my spurs for me, I'd sign him up for it in an instant! But other riders are just all Oh gosh he looks so uncomfortable! and Let's call the vet! Like, seriously? I can't even remember the last time my horse didn't look uncomfortable! You think your mystery illness colic'll hurt them? Trying dumping a nasty unco. kid three times their size on them! And a vet? Really? I'm sorry but am I the only one here who knows the reality of vets? They're literally just the same as phony witchdoctors except that they have a fancy-shmancy 'degree'!
People are SO ultra-careful, too. You wouldn't believe how many dirty looks I've gotten for feeding my horses pizza and nuts and plastic bags, etc. But really these pansees are taking so many precautions in vain, because if there was such thing as colic, I'd have dealt with it. I've done and consistently do every thing on this website's list of things not to do to prevent so-called 'colic.'
It says to give your horse access to clean water 24/7 but I can't even remember the last time I bothered to dump the manure out of my bucket before I filled it with water for them. In fact, I don't think I've ever done that. Among other things, it also says to, like, give it pasture space or something(?) I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean; I keep all my horses and their tack in my appointed tack room, obviously.
So basically I've done everything in my power to compel this 'colic' to take root in my horses but either it hasn't because its FAKE or I haven't noticed it because it's INSIGNIFICANT. Yeah, my horses are in terrible shape, almost completely bald and scrawny with lame gaits and awful habits, and sure, they don't even appear remotely rideable most of the time, and fine, I'm a terrible rider with questionable beliefs. I stand by that, I own all that. But at the end of the day, I'm proud to say.....um..... sorry, I guess I forgot. Where was I going with all this self-deprecation again? Anyway,
People are SO ultra-careful, too. You wouldn't believe how many dirty looks I've gotten for feeding my horses pizza and nuts and plastic bags, etc. But really these pansees are taking so many precautions in vain, because if there was such thing as colic, I'd have dealt with it. I've done and consistently do every thing on this website's list of things not to do to prevent so-called 'colic.'
It says to give your horse access to clean water 24/7 but I can't even remember the last time I bothered to dump the manure out of my bucket before I filled it with water for them. In fact, I don't think I've ever done that. Among other things, it also says to, like, give it pasture space or something(?) I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean; I keep all my horses and their tack in my appointed tack room, obviously.
So basically I've done everything in my power to compel this 'colic' to take root in my horses but either it hasn't because its FAKE or I haven't noticed it because it's INSIGNIFICANT. Yeah, my horses are in terrible shape, almost completely bald and scrawny with lame gaits and awful habits, and sure, they don't even appear remotely rideable most of the time, and fine, I'm a terrible rider with questionable beliefs. I stand by that, I own all that. But at the end of the day, I'm proud to say.....um..... sorry, I guess I forgot. Where was I going with all this self-deprecation again? Anyway,
THE END
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| Oh no! A mere couple inches higher! Water rising on Planet Earth is as insubstantial as tummy rising on a gas colic horse. (This isn't meant to inform. Don't change your current views on the subject! Seriously, you should fear colic like you fear Bill Cosby. *Whether he did or didn't do it is immaterial, he's still intensely creepy, like colic) |
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